The Agony Between Calling and Commissioning

I remember being a young Christian, attending a conference when the announcement came for all those who felt called into ministry to stand up. With great fervor, I stood as a declaration that I am responding to God's call on my life. Like Isaiah, I was proclaiming back to God, "Here I am. Send me" (Isiah 6:8).

Shortly after this, I expected that God would launch me into ministry very quickly. I began praying, waiting, and watching for God to open doors for ministry. After some years went by I began to grow increasingly frustrated and discouraged that I was not yet in ministry. Did not God call me into ministry? Did I somehow miss the opportunity God had for me? Was I sure that God still wanted me in ministry?

After some honest time in prayer with God, he began to speak some key scriptures to me:

...for the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart. - 1 Samuel 13:14

Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, 'Surely this is the Lord’s anointed!'
But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'...So as David stood there among his brothers, Samuel took the flask of olive oil he had brought and anointed David with the oil. And the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David from that day on. - 1 Samuel 16:7, 13

I began to learn very quickly that my character, my heart--the core of who I am--superseded my calling and commission. Studying David's calling process shows that many years and trying events passed before David ever fulfilled his calling. In the middle of David's calling and commission, he experienced many tests of his character:

• playing music to soothe Saul's soul and bare his armor (1 Sam 16:14-23), 
• killing Goliath (1 Sam 17:32), 
• becoming a successful officer in Saul's army and facing Saul's jealousy (1 Sam 18:5), 
• refused retaliation (1 Sam 19:10; 24:7; 26:9-10), 
• pretended to be insane (1 Sam 21:12-13), 
• leading a band 400-600 mighty men (1 Sam 22:2), 
• endured betrayal by one of his own men (1 Sam 23:19; 29:1-8), 
• and fought against his own people (1 Sam 27:11-12).

Using David's life as a prototype we see that between our calling and commission God is using many of life's situations to refine our character. Some of the character tests are spectacular, while others are horrific and might set us back. God is clearly illustrating one thing through David's life--our character (heart) development is far more important than our calling. Why is this? Proverbs helps answer this question:

As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person. - Pro 27:1 

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. - Pro 4:23

Since who we are, and all we do, stems from our heart (character), God's primary goal in our calling is to form our character. Many of those who are commissioned without character will quit or be taken from their calling and commission. As ministers, it is our character that empowers and supports our calling and commission.

Is it possible that you know God has a calling on your life, but it is not yet fulfilled? How is it that God is forming your character so that you can fulfill your calling and commission?