Black & White Series: Love & Hate

Black and white Series

Series Introduction

Not all things in life are as simple as black and white, right or wrong, do or don't do; however, some things in life are, and I want to take some time to talk about some of those things. Let's journey together...

To read other posts in this series:

Do vs. Be click here, 

Sowing and Reaping click here.

Love and Hate

Love and hate is something we interact with everyday--it shapes how we see the world, ourself, other people, and God. I will even go as far to say that it even dictates how we make decisions. For instance, we hang out with these people because we feel that they love us, or we avoid these people because we know they do not like us, or even hate us. See the difference? 

I want to focus on what happens when we play each of these things out in our personal lives. Furthermore, I am presupposing that each of our lives is lived out with other people in some type of community and relationship with others, whether that is at work, in the home with family, extended family, social media, the drive thru to get food, going to the movies, and so on. What I do effects you and what you do effects me--this is especially true of love and hate. 

Choosing Love and Hate

If you haven't found out already, love and hate is a choice. I tell people all the time that we were not born loving or hating anyone--we learn and decide both. If then, it is true that love and hate are learned, then in the end we choose love or hate. 

I Hate...

As people, we say that we hate a lot of things: traffic (ugh), long lines, annoying people, bad jokes, stinky smells (farts, pig and chicken farms, sulfur), burnt popcorn, dripping water at night when we are trying to sleep, the DMV, the dentist, the post office, open mouth chewing, and so much more, and I right? We all laugh at most of those things and say that we hate them as a figure of speech, but what happens when we hate people? 

Have you ever told someone that you hate them? 

My question is, what happens when hate plays out in our lives? What happens to us when we say that we hate someone? Have you ever noticed that when you really hate someone that they have no idea that you hate them, and they are living their lives in so much happiness, which just makes you hate them even more? Like, how could they be so happy when someone like you hates them? 

We do crazy things when we hate someone: we convince ourselves that we are right to hate them, and we eventually will not care what happens to them. In fact, the worse off their life gets the better we feel about ourselves. This is the classic story of the bad guy in the movies: we learn to hate them for various reasons as we watch the movie, and when the bad guy gets smashed into the earth by a commit we erupt with praise that karma has done so well! Let's bring it to real life. How many of us praised when we heard the news of Osama Bi Laden's death? Yay! The dirt-bag finally got what he deserved! Do you see what is happening here? We can come to hate people so much that we no longer care about them, even to the point of their own death! Essentially, hate only wants one thing--to take life away from the object of its focus.

I Love...

I love pizza! We say we love things all the time, but what are we really saying? We say that we love food, then love our spouse? What the heck! What are we really talking about here? 

I say that I love pizza because it tastes so good, and I can make it however I want. This is how some people view love--it makes them feel good, and they can make whatever they want with it. This kind of love in relationships leads people to be very selfish and controlling. This is the person who uses other people for their own benefit and tries to control their lives. This is the I love pizza kind of love. 

So how do we define love? Well, let us start with your own experience. Think of a time in your life when you felt loved by someone, how did they treat you that made you feel loved? Every time I have felt loved by someone it is because of how they gave themselves for me, whether it is something they did, or something they said, the end result was always the same--they gave of themselves for my benefit. The image of true love is known through giving. Every instance in my life where I have felt love from someone it is because of what they have given me. 

When I was transitioning off active duty from the Marine Corps I was 1,300 miles away from home and did not know where I was going to live, or what I was going to do. My plan was to retire from the Marines after 20 years, but God had called me out after five, so I was severely confused and without direction. I had stepped out of a promising career and into nothing--I had no plan, no job, no place to go. 

During this time a married couple who I had become really good friends with invited me to live with them. My buddy said I could stay as long as I'd like--I don't think he knew that I would stay for almost three years! During that time I was given a place to live that helped me transition. Of course, I contributed to the house, but what I was given was far greater than what I gave in myself. 

What's the point here? Love is giving, and it always prospers the object of its focus, as seen in the story of my friends that I lived with. Love is not an I love pizza kind of love, it's a giving and prosperous love. It prospers those around it, and benefits the giver and receiver. 

To wrap this up, we have a choice, and that choice will impact us and the lives around us. Are we going to hate others and consume their lives, or are we going to love others and benefit their lives?

Consider it...

What is the biggest act of love that someone has done for you?